[BTR] Public? WHy yes, yes it is.

[physicsmagic]

Before I came through the Rift, I was captured, drugged, tortured and made to dig my own grave by a serial killer with disassociate identity disorder.

For Christmas, I received a self-refilling bottle of the same drug that I was given during that experience.

I still use is.

Comments

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

[.....He is going to be staring at his journal with this utterly devastated look on his face. If no one sees him for the next few days, it will be because he is avoiding LIFE]

[locked]

[lefthertainted]

I wasn't aware of aware of the exact specifics, but....I knew, almost from the first time I met you. You have the look of someone who has been through more than they can bear.

I don't know if you'll believe me when I say this, but I want to help.

Re: [locked]

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

It's not that.

I'm sorry I was

You don't

I believe you. Thank you. Maybe we could talk some time.

Re: [locked]

[lefthertainted]

[ La la la, it is totally possible for Mio to have dinner with Phoebe and Spencer on the same night! It's just a little bit timey-wimey, that's all! *waves hands* ]

How about tonight? The fact that I am working in the office this late--on a weekend, no less--really says something about my social life recently.

I could cook us something in Uchiko-chan's kitchen, if you'd like. We could even talk up there, if you don't mind her listening in, at least a little bit. She knows better than to say anything about things we've discussed with other people.

Re: [locked]

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

{There's a bit of timey-wimey stuff on both our parts, so it's all good. :D]

Dinner sounds fine. I can meet you up there if you'd like. I'm not really sure about the talking. Can we just play it by ear?

Re: [locked]

[lefthertainted]

Dinner it is, then. It'll be about 20 minutes while I wrap things up here, but if you want to head up earlier Uchiko-chan can let you in. I'm sure she'd love to see you.

You don't have to talk about it, but...just try not to shut me out if I bring up the subject, all right? At least consider what I have to say. Psychological trauma is one of the things that my powers react most strongly to, so I do have a rather extensive pool of practical experience with the subject.

[ She we move to a post in the comm or in Mio's journal? ...since I feel like Mio at least is going to be busting out epic storytiems in an effort to get Spencer to talk. ]

Re: [locked]

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

I need to clean up a little. I'll probably just meet you up there.

I'll see what I can do. I can't promise I'll be open about it but I'll try. I'll certainly listen, I just can't make promises about saying much on the topic.


[I do not actually care, whatever suits you is good with me. I'm just proud that the boy is going to talk to someone at this point.'[

[Locked]

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

[Cassie doesn't write anything for a long time. She just stares, horrified, shocked and scared - for a long time. She had no idea.]

I didn't

Oh, God. Not you too.

I wish I knew what

[She bursts into tears.]







Where are you?

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

[It takes him a long time to answer this, unsure if he really wants to or if he should or...well, a lot of things.

But he remembers Cassie's words, remembers what she went through and in the end, that's what makes him say something]

It's not your fault, don't be sorry. You didn't have a hand in it.

I'm in my room. The door's unlocked.

[Actionspam? :D?]

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

But I'm sorry it ha

[She stops. Writing over the journal network is not working. Instead, she's going to go to his room.

She knocks quietly and opens the door slightly, peering in. Thankfully, she's stopped crying - but she feels like she might start again.]

Spence? [Awkward pause.] ... Hey.

[Hurrah, actionspam! :D:D:D]

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

[He's sprawled out on his bed, the journal on his stomach. His eyes are closed and he's breathing 9is slow. he's not sleeping though, just trying to reign in the sheer amount of anxiety that comes with all of this.

he sits up when Cassie enters, setting his journal aside and smiling weakly.] Hi, sorry. I was....[But he's not really sure what he was going to say with that sentence so it just trails off.]

Re: [Hurrah, actionspam! :D:D:D]

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

[She pauses awkwardly in the doorway, wringing her hands and trying not to cry. She's trying not to look worried, but there's enough worry inside her to drown her.

Without saying anything, she quickly makes her way across the room, slides onto his bed and pulls him into a tight hug.]

I'm so sorry. I... I wish I'd known before now. I would've. I don't know. I would've done... something.

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

[He wraps his arms around her, hugging her tightly.]

It's not your fault, I didn't tell you. I...wish I had known about you too. I know there's nothing I could have done but I wish I had known.

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

[Cassie bites her lip, keeping back an urge to sob. She's so angry that awful things happen to them both. She doesn't want to be angry, but she is.]

God.. I just.. I hate this stupid city. If it weren't for people like you and my friends, I'd have no reason to want to stay at all.

[She pulls away slightly and stares at him for a few moments. Quietly putting her hands up to his face, she shakes her head.]

You can't do this, you have to stop. I don't know what it is you're taking, but you can't do it. You're hurting yourself, Spencer. It's not the right way to deal with this.

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

I understand. I don't know where I'd go if I didn't stay here but if it weren't for you, I would have left a long time ago. [He's awkward when he says it but at least he's saying it at all. Cassie really is the main reason why he stays in Chicago when it comes to other people.

He closes his eyes at her touchy, taking in a slow deep breath. And then she speaks. He pulls away but not too far, not even out of her grasp, just a little.] Can we talk about this later, Cassie? Please?

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

[Cassie can hear that awkwardness in his tone. She smiles for a moment, but it falters when he speaks again. She swallows hard, falling quiet for a while to ward off any tears. But as she speaks, she can't help when it breaks every so often.]

...I don't want this to end up destroying you. I've lost too many people here already, I don't want to end up losing you.

[She pauses and purses her lips. She leans forward, pressing her forehead against his and closing her eyes.]

You promise to talk about it? Promise me?

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

I know what I'm doing. [He pauses, then laughs a little bitterly[ It's the only thing that I do know. I'm being safe about it though, Cassie, as safe as I can be with something like this.

[He closes his eyes and takes in another slow, deep breath. then he moves his head so that he's leaving a quick kiss against her forehead.] I'll talk about it, just...not right now.

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

[Her face crumples a little at that. She doesn't think someone can be safe at all with drugs.]

But...

[She trails off and sighs, he doesn't want to talk about it. And she doesn't want to force him to. Smiling weakly at the kiss, she lifts her head to brush a quick kiss against his lips before she can give herself time to think about not doing it.]

... Alright. We'll do that.

[She purses her lips for a moment.]

What do you want to talk about?

Doing these tags to The Hunger is really, really strange. XD

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

[The kiss is returned and, to his credit, lacks some of the previous awkwardness. With everything that's been going on, everything that has been found out, a kiss is the least he has to be awkward about.]

I have absolutely no idea. [he laughs, his arms still around her.] I don't know what the appropriate type of conversation is for a situation like this.

The band, movie or TV show? xD

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

[She does notice this, and it makes her smile a little. But now it not the most appropriate time to be giddy over kissing styles. :x

She smiles weakly.]

I don't really know either. Usually my Mum puts the kettle on. But... talking is good.

I'm going to talk to Martha at some point ... about what happened. She.. went through something like that.

[She pauses.]

I can't be angry like this any more. I'm not meant to be an angry person.

The movie. I did not realize there was a band or TV show., though I'm not surprised the former exis

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

[All in all, it could probably be worse. At least being giddy over kissing styles is avoiding their problems. Or so says Spencer.[

We could go do that if you want. Really, whatever you want to do is fine by me. [Except talking about his issue. That's about it.

Hie closes his eyes at those words, unsure of what he should do. He tightens his hold around her and moves to press a kiss into her hair.]

What can I do?

I want to watch thaaaat.

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

[Cassie has to somewhat agree, it's also much nicer.

She sighs and settles against his more comfortably. She feels better staying here. She knows she's going to have to see others, the network is flooding with secrets - but for now she just wants to stay.

She does still want to talk about his problem, but she knows that won't work in the slightest.]

I don't know... I just..

[She pauses.]

Don't... hit anyone about it. I've had enough friends offering this and I've tried it myself, doesn't make me feel any better. Punching Kaden only got me a broken hand.

I think i should ahve paid more attention to it when it was on. XD

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

[Spencer shifts, moving so that he's leaning up against the wall, and pulls her close to him again. He's not extremely good at this but he knows that this is what she needs now. The closeness, the comfort of someone being there. He's not great at it but he can give her what he has.]

I'll keep that in mind. [he wasn't planning on hitting anyone though the thought had crossed his mind to put a hole in the wall. He can still do that though, so that's so9mething.

One hand moves to rub light circles at her back and he sighs again, looking around them as if doing so might give him something to say. He doesn't have anything to say though, not really. His words ran out a long time ago and while he has an armful of excuses, he doesn't have much else[

I think, this is the point where people break out the alcohol, though I never understood why considering alcohol isn't a stimulant.

XDDDD

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

[Cassie knows he's awkward at the best of times, so she understands and doesn't mind the slight awkwardness to his movements. She's surprised at this at first, but the whole while extremely grateful for the comfort. She smiles, gently holding onto one his hands as she leans against him.]

Thank you.

[... She would rather much he didn't. :x

The silence is nice, she's not really sure what to say either. Thinking about that is better for her than dwelling on their... not-so-secret secrets.]

Alcohol is always a good thing to do at times like this. It's really for kind of calming you down. Whenever I was back home, if one of my girlfriends broke up with some lad - the rest of us would say 'Come on, we'll have a night out on the town.'

You just sort of relax, get silly and talk about absolute rubbish when you do when you're drunk and just end up making one another laugh until we feel better.

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

[He's trying, Cassie, he's trying really hard because you deserve it and he can't to danything els eto make this any better]

It's no problem. Really, it's not.

[He listens as she talks, considers what she says but he's still not entirely sure he gets it.] But Alcohol is a depressant. It's only going to make you more miserable than you already are. Well, it should. I know that different people have different experiences with it.

[He pauses, considering what he's saying and then just shakes his head] Would you like to find alcohol, Cassie?

[starryeyed-cass.livejournal.com]

If you're drinking alone, then I guess it could do. But I don't know. All I do know is when I have been a bit down and I've gone for drinks with my friends, it does make me feel happier. It would always get my mind off things.

[She chuckles softly, and nods her head.]

I think that sounds like a good plan. I think I have a few bottles of wine in my room. I always keep some, since there's usually an occasion I need it from time to time.

Or we can go out, The Crowbar - I know people there. It's a good place.

[physics-magic.livejournal.com]

Company would probably make a difference. You are more easily influenced when intoxicated, so fi you have people around you who aren't depressed, it would keep you from doing it.

[he is probably thinking too much on this. It's either think about this or think about their secrets. He likes this.

He shrugs, not really caring either way.]

It's up to you, this is more your area of expertise than mine.